When the dust clears

I am left married to the man I love more than anything in this world.

Now what? Enjoy forever.

Thanks to all who have helped and supported along the way.

rawr

I don't think I've ever been more disappointed in so many people at one time. Everyone received their invitation months ago. I told them they needed to get the information to me no later than the 10th. Yet, somehow people still are undecided, even after giving an RSVP otherwise. It seemed that no one gave a damn enough to actually request time off, or bring up that they would need that day off or to leave early. So now, I have a shit ton of bubbles and shot glasses which I paid for that are going unused. I really would have rather not spent that money - as paying for the wedding, for everyone to eat drink and be marry... means that John and I don't get a honeymoon. I'm completely crushed. I have to have my final numbers in this afternoon, and I have no idea what they are. There are people coming that weren't invited, people not coming that said they were.

For those of you who RSVPd, made the necessary arrangements, I thank you and this is so not directed at you.

For my family - you're amazing! Thank you indefinitely for all the help, love, and support you've given me to make this whole thing happen.

I know that things change, but I guess I just assume that everyone operates the same way I do. That if there was doubt it would have been brought up immediately. I would have mentioned to any employer upon being hired that I needed to take the 22nd off, I would have put in for it off the instant the invitation was received. I know how business operate and handle requests, I know that if this was done there would have been no issue of the waiting. I also know, that if it was your wedding, I would call out if I didn't get the time off.

I guess the people that really matter will be there. The people who are true friends and made plans and are flying in from across the country, driving hours upon hours. The people that offered a helping hand and a loving thought. The people that said, why yes I will be there to join with you in the most important moment of your life. To celebrate your love and rejoice with you.

It seems trite to point out how much all of this has cost us. How we've run out of money and still have more to spend to get things right. It doesn't really matter. And it's not the point anyway. I guess it's just something people can understand easier than lack of loyalty and my crushed belief in people.

I guess that about finishes my rant. I'm pretty sad that the most important part to me (the honeymoon) isn't going to happen... but I guess we have to roll with the punches sometimes.

In less than two weeks....

I'll be married! Kind of. But that's another story altogether.

Everything is set up. All we need now is a final head count. Due to people not being unemployed, I think it's going to be a lot less than expected and than desired I guess. I mean, less people means less expense, but it also means less friends there to share in the good times with.

We're going to the Nelscott Manor in Lincoln City for our honeymoon. There's a jacuzzi tub for two overlooking the ocean. Yeah, I'm excited.

My wonderful Aunt/Sister Melissa got us our flowers. Yay for pink roses, red roses, white alstromeria and such! We'll just need to turn these bouquets into my bouquet, three bridesmaids bouquets, a toss bouquet, petals for the flower girl, and centerpieces... sometime....

My bridesmaids are all set up (I think...) and the playlist is made. We still need to actually download the songs and transfer them to phone/CD/something. I hope that people actually dance... that's what weddings are for, right?

I'm pretty excited, but also scared I guess. Not scared.... just, it all seems so surreal - and I won't believe it until I'm standing on the sand with him I guess. I need to write down my vows on notecards... or memorize them. So close! I hope that everything goes the way we want it to.

Whew! Now what?

when I originally had Brittany pick out her bridesmaid dress, she was going to be my only bridesmaid as John refused to ask anyone but Corey. I wanted to ask others, but wanted to keep things even. eventually I decided I didn't care and asked two others. due to the financial situation one finds herself in, I gave them very free reign on the dress they will be wearing. as things get closer I am getting worried this wasn't such a wise choice. we're mixing formal with not... differing colors...i fear a mess. I think it's too late to do anything about it though as purchases have already been made. I'm just hoping everything works out. I so do want everything to be perfect.

we're having to use the credit card for the wedding to stay alive... I'm nervous that we're not going to be able to both pay for the wedding and keep us fed and the bills paid. everything is just so limited right now, it's making me nervous.

we are so close to the day, and are almost kind of prepared... we haven't figured out hotel info yet, or honeymoon locale. we don't have an arch or an idea for one. we decided that for flowers we're just going to get them the day before at a store as they'll be a quarter of the price that way. John needs his outfit and to figure out what his groomsmen are wearing. I need to get my shoes and figure out which shoes my bridesmaids are wearing ( this I am having be the same). we need to make a playlist and decide on whether to have someone John knows dj or not.

I think that's it... now what?

Dress Details and Pictures

While I totally have said I got a dress and such I wanted to elaborate. I was planning on getting something fluid, soft, forgiving. Empire waist embellishment and chiffon. I tried on so many of those types of dresses, as well as a few oddly geometric designs. When I first put on the dress I ended up loving, I was like... hm... it's really pretty. No train, and it's not too heavy. Eh. Then while I was waiting for sales lady Kristine to get more dresses for me to try on I went... Oh wow, this dress is fantastic! I tried on a few more, but I kept thinking of how perfect the dress was, and how even more fabulous with a pink bow in the back. It was not at all what I thought I would end up liking... but I absolutely love it! Kristine asked if I wanted to try on more, and I said sure so she went to go scavenge through the store to find something else.

When she left, I put back on the satin, pick-up goodness and started to wander around. I played with some clips and some things. Then my aunt Chris put a necklace on me and I was... "wow!" It fit so gracefully with the dress and really added an extra bling I thought was absolutely great. Normally, I'd be turned off by something so large, but it really worked. We kept messing around with veils and things and then it was ... "aaw!" So fantastic. Embellished with beads that picked up and played in the light and matched the softness of the dress and the sparkle of the necklace.

I told Kristine that I didn't need any more dress options - this was it! So she squeed and messed around with hair pieces and things, but we went back to the original "aaw" veil and stayed.

I suppose I am indeed female after all. Pictures below because I'm too lazy to work with everything at the moment.

Fairy Godmothers and the like

After realizing we were never going to be able to come up with all the money needed to dress ourselves, let alone the $50 a person it's going to cost to throw the wedding, I was quite downhearted.

I talked to my grandma and she assured me that we'd make it work. We tried to get loans, but ... credit's not so great on the homeward front.

So now we have my grandma's credit card that will allow us to pay back the wedding expenses over time, instead of all up front. It's pretty fantastic!

We have the envelopes all stuffed and stamped and ready to go, we just need to drop them off at a USPS drop box because they're too big to put in the outgoing mail spot of our apartment.

I got my dress. I know, I know I already bought a dress. Then the boob thing happened, so ...yeah. As bad as it sounds I'm claiming bankruptcy so the credit card I used the dress for is *poof*. I went... a little crazy, I'll admit. I got the dress, and a pink sash for it, a veil, and a necklace. Then a slip to wear under the dress. Yeah, I spent a little too much... especially on the veil... but when it was all put together it was just so... perfect. I felt completely wonderful, and yes, a bit like a princess.

Today I get to go pick out my wedding band. Yay!

The only other things we need to do now-ish are to reserve our night of the wedding hotel, and our honeymoon once we figure out what we're doing. We also need to reserve the site if we need a permit, and figure out if John needs to change his name before the wedding or if he can do it on the wedding license.

Of course, we still need to get all the ceremony stuff squared away, and figure out just what we're doing for flowers and favors.

Thankfully, we have enough to do what we'd like... I mean, within reason of course.

It's such a wonderful feeling to not have to be pulling out my hair figuring out how on earth we're going to be able to pull off something even remotely nice.

If you're a boy renting a suit, or know of a boy who needs to rent a suit, let me know. If everyone goes in together John gets a free one out of the deal which would be super fantastically awesome. Yeah.

I feel so blessed to be able to borrow this money; while I know that I'm totally responsible for it in the eventual, right now it makes me feel like the sky is the limit.

John's Ring

Saturday we went by Powell's to get a book for John. On our way out I saw a stand advertising a ring at Harry Ritchie's. I mentioned how I didn't like it, and John said he did so we dipped inside to take a closer look. A little while later we had each picked out our favorite bands. John ended up loving the design on the poster thing, and so we'll go get that today. We don't have enough extra funds to get my ring too, but that's okay - I'm going dress shopping this weekend! I'm not sure which one he ended up getting, but it's one of these two:


I hope he's as excited as I would be. He's got his groomsmen situation together, and his wedding band. He's just about done with his necessity in the wedding situation. He just needs to decide what to make the groomsmen wear, and what he's wearing. Then he's just in charge of the reception flowers. Come to think of it, there's not much either one of us has to do at this point. Make a couple calls to get chairs and things, figure out what flowers we're using across the board, and that's it. Other than make ourselves pretty of course. Hopefully someone will buy the dress I got a few months ago to help with funds.

Or I'll get a Johnathan that's willing to go to the bank and take out a loan...

Tradition

I received an e-mail with a 'hey visit our site and check this forum out' theme from one of the wedding sites I frequent. It was on the topic of what traditional things you're leaving out. I realized that as traditional as I feel... we're really leaving out quite a bit of the 'wedding' feel of things. Honestly though, I don't think it's a super bad thing.

We're not planning a tens of thousands of dollars extravaganza. The three thousand and some change is more than we can afford.

No one is giving me away. Last time I checked I was the master of my own destiny, yes?

No father figure walking me down the aisle. This seems to be tied to arranged marriages or something... I'm not sure and don't care to research. I'm getting married to John and it seems silly to have anyone else walk me down the aisle. --EDIT: Grandma's walking me down the aisle, although...she's not much of a 'father' figure now is she?--

No veil. This tradition seems to be fading pretty fast anyway across the board. --EDIT: Yeah.. I did end up getting a veil. I can't help it, sometimes I'm just a girl! --

No aisle runner, no ring bearer, no ushers, no 'his side' vs. 'her side.' Seriously... we don't have large enough family coming to count and John doesn't really have any... so it seems pointless. The whole processional bit is so overdone. Although we will have a flower girl, because every girl wants to be a flower girl so I decided to make that wish come true.

Not walking down the aisle to 'here comes the bride' or other 'classical' piece of music. I'm not telling you what I'm walking to though - you'll know it when you hear it.

Traditional vows. My grandpa is officiating the ceremony, and we're writing our own vows... should be fun!

No garter toss / bouquet toss. Because, really - we hardly have any totally single friends, it's awkward if you're in a relationship and catch one because then it's like ha ha you're next, and I'm not going to throw a bouquet to two people, lol. -- EDIT: We were told we just 'had' to do these. So... apparently we are... --

No cake cutting. I don't know if this will be totally cut out, but I'm kind of thinking it should. Dessert comes with the meals we're ordering anyway and I don't like all that... attention. Saves $ too. -- EDIT: We are doing the cake cutting on a cake just for John and I --

No photographer. Well, there will be a photographer, maybe even two. Plus I expect everyone that comes to bring their camera so we can get a diversified look at things and print the ones we like to put in an album.

No gift registry. Nope. We want and need money. If everyone we expect to come gives us $60 it should be enough to mostly off set cost... mostly, I think. But that includes children and the unemployed so... yeah, not happening.

No save the dates, no boring ol' paper invitations. No unity candle, or anything of the sort. No stuffy formal attire. --EDIT: Kind of stuffy formal attire... John decided he wanted a 3 piece suit, and my dress is all kinds of formal --

Honestly we just want the people that come to have fun. We're only inviting those we love, not blanket inviting everyone. I want it to have the feel of any of the parties we have. Although with better food, and hopefully a lot less drunken drama. It seems silly that people spend on average 24 thousand dollars to create a day that no one will remember. Spending thousands on a dress to wear once. Getting things you'll never use again.

Giant Boobs

Yes, it's official, I now have the biggest boobs ever. As far as I can tell, I haven't grown anywhere else, and may have even lost inches elsewhere. However, now my boobs are so large that my lovely wedding dress I purchased is no longer going to zip over them. I guess that's what you get for buying a dress that fits perfectly.

So I've posted the dress for sale on Craigslist. I'm hoping that it will get some attention, I want to sell it so I can get a new one. I spent all day yesterday researching, and have a few dresses I really like that are close to half off what I paid for my dress. If nothing else, I can get my dress for $80 in a bigger size and pocket the difference (since I fail at shopping and all).

The wedding is getting super close! We've finally started to start to work on invitations. I've got a couple people I've asked to work on photography, but I'm definitely thinking that I want Colleen to do it. For some reason when going down the guest list for photographer options I totally forgot about her. I remembered though! I don't know if she'll want to do it though... but I figure if she does the shots will be a lot less blah and a lot more sexy and fluid than if I go with the family friend who's a photographer. I'm planning on asking everyone to bring their cameras anyway so we'll have lots of coverage.

I've instructed my grandpa to get ordained - and he told me he'd find a church within a month. John's got a plan for the reception (I think). There aren't green linens available in anything other than napkins - so I think I'm leaning towards an ivory and red blend. Like red going one way diagonally, then ivory on top in the other direction. Candles + roses = ta-da!

Ceremony wise we need to figure out how many people are coming ASAP so we can book chairs. I don't think it'll be more than 50. Then we can also tell the caterers, since our dishes aren't cheap - it'll be nice to know how much we're shelling out as soon as we can.

This wedding stuff is expensive! With getting a new dress, or even just altering the one I have... wedding bands, veil, under the dress stuffs, shoes, makeup, John's clothes, the arch, flowers for bouquets, boutineers, decoration, tulling, attendant gifts, invitations, chairs, catering, possibly a permit (Note to self: Check on that!), hotel room for the night of - and possibly the night before... there's SO much output. I don't think we're going to be able to afford a honeymoon :(

Good thing we're asking for money as presents. If people give us $50 a piece we might be able to offset the cost of the wedding. Still no honeymoon, but it'll be like people paid for themselves to enjoy the food and such. Still, most of our guests don't have $50 to spare so... I don't know.

I'm thinking of having John take out a loan to pay for the wedding... but I really don't want to. However, as it looks right now - we're not going to be able to afford anything other than the food for people. Le sigh.

We're getting there... 201 Days

In 201 days, I will be joined officially with the love of my life. I can't wait! I have completely fallen in love with birdcage veils. They're fabulously feminine and edgy with a touch of retro flare. I think they'll work if I decide to chop off all my hair like I've got the itch to do.



I'm thinking of doing little bundles of cherry blossoms in vases, with the candles and flower petals (I'm thinking yellows maybe some pinks), and then the favors all around. They'll all be roughly the same height. Cherry blossoms have the colors I love -pinks and browns, with a little Asian fusion feel.



We've got the place semi-booked, we just have to give them a 25% deposit - shouldn't be too big of a deal. I've got my lovely bridesmaids, my dress, and lots of fun ideas for hair and such. Getting ideas together for centerpieces and a few ideas for fun favors together. I've been working on the playlist, I really need help finding some fun dance songs but absolutely no one wants to help me for some reason.



Did I mention we've got our cake picked out as well? I don't remember and am too lazy to check. Strawberries on top of pound cake. Just a small one, as everyone will get their desserts with meal. As soon as we get the deposit in we're going to make our invitations. I plan on getting my veil soon, and finding a fabulous headpiece to go with it. I've already got the earrings and necklace I'm wearing, I want to find some cool anklets or something as well. I need to get tan, and touch up my tattoos. Other than that and a bunch of tiny details things are starting to fall together. Now I just need to find large sums of money from somewhere...